if you were one
of the unnoticed ones,
i am writing this for you.

i am writing this
because you were too good
at smiling and laughing and
never letting the truth 
get loose.

i am writing this
because you kept your grades
at a point where 
nobody questioned you, even 
when you sat awake at night wondering why
you were terrifically empty inside. i am writing it
for the panic attacks nobody saw, for
the eating disorder you weren’t ‘thin enough’
for. i am writing it for the scars that stayed covered,
the nights of ache that went unspoken.

i am writing it for the mess in your room
that your mom yelled about when really 
it was a symbol of how apathetic you’d become. i’m
writing it for the showers you skipped and the
classes where you didn’t come. the illnesses that
you allowed into your system, the weary 
tiredness that everyone else challenged you with: your
eight hours were bliss, you should feel perfect.

i am writing it for the messages you 
backed down from, the cries for help that
went unanswered, the jokes you made that were the truth
but said with a grin. i am writing it for the moment
when you were giving advice that someone would ask,
“how do you know all this?”

i am writing it for the plates you left unwashed, the homework
that went unfinished, for the pens you snapped
with no other reason than to feel the release of breaking something.

i am writing it for the nights 
you stayed awake and 
walked somebody else to shore
even while nobody saw you 
didn’t know how  to swim anymore.

i see you. i see you hurting. 
you deserve help. you deserve to feel good. you deserve
to feel better. it’s okay to show it sometimes. it’s okay to bend.
it’s okay. you’re not weak for your suffering.

i believe in you. you’ve already
shouldered so much. let the burden down. 

it’s not giving up.